She's a dude not a babe, BUT I'm still thinking
by blue-ambiance
Summary: Will Clark Kent fall for a different Lana?
1. A new beginning

* Signifies the character's thoughts Chapter 1  
  
*The sun shines differently today. Lana thought to herself. Perhaps because it's first day of school.Hmmm wonder what's it gonna be this whole new school year.Of course there would be lots of school formals. cool clubs to join to. and new schoolmates to meet.but same old Clark Kent. Whom she had known for almost all her life, because she and Clark are best friends or more appropriately buddies. Clark treats her like a guy buddy, which is not a problem to her anyway. not until now. They've met at the age of four and began hanging out, instead of playing Barbie and other girly stuff like other girls did, she was more into Nintendo, basketball and even worst . wrestling with of course her best bud, Clark Kent.  
  
"Lana, are you done? The bus will be here any minute." A familiar voice broke her from her reverie. That's my aunt Nell. She adopted me after my parents died. "Yeah. I'll be there." Lana slip into a baggy jeans and an Oh so ordinary t-shirt, (don't think as if it was a wasted shirt it's still a presentable t-shirt) after which tied her long raven hair into a ponytail and slip her black rimmed glasses. "I'm going to the Kent's. I'm sure Clark's not up at this time, I think he'll be needing a little punch from me or he'll be late for school. I don't want him to be a tardy anyway, because it'll be unlucky it's first day." She took her books and her sneakers as she descended the staircase. "Make sure you come home early you still have to cover for me at the Talon, I'll be going to Metropolis tonight." "Why? Is there anything wrong?" she grabbed a piece of toast and place it in between her mouth. "No. Just some kind of business dinner." Her aunt said defensively as if caught in a lie. "Hmm. I smell something fishy. is that a business dinner or a date?" "It's just a simple business dinner Lana that's it. Aha look who's changing the topic here, you're late young lady." Lana slip her sneakers on and hurriedly kiss her aunt's cheek "See you later or should I say tomorrow, bye." She shouted teasingly with that she was gone with another piece of toast in her mouth.  
  
Oh I don't see how fast the climate changes this year, a while ago it's very sunny now as if there will be a storm, I hope not, because I should've taken my jacket with me. She entered the Kent's with a grin on her face "Good morning Mrs. Kent. Is Clark still up there?" "Oh Lana, good morning to you too. I'm sure your excited on your first day but I don't think Clark is, I called him a hundred times it seems but he's to lazy to get up." Martha stated flatly "Why so Mrs. Kent? I'm sure he is, with all those pretty girls he'll meet he can't wait by now." Seriously of course there will be a lot of pretty girls especially now in high school.and he will surely forget about an average school girl like me, who used to be a tomboy and forever will be for him, wears boy stuff, lose her parents in one of the most tragic accidents.he will never lay his eyes on me. who Lana Lang. c'mon you might be kidding there's nothing lovely about me. But I'm still hoping. that I'll become a damsel in distress to be save by my knight in shining armor. none other than. my hero, Clark Kent. Smiling like mad she thought to herself. Martha looking worried, "Lana? Are you ok?" "Oh, never better Mrs. Kent. I think I should go and see what's happening with Clark." She left her with a warm smile to reassure her that she's fine. "Clark you up there?" "I'm here." Oh that voice, what's with that voice anyway? Whenever I hear it. it.it makes me weak as if I can't even move a single finger. Oh Lana what are you doing. that's your best friend. you must stop this now. She scolded herself Clark reveals himself to take notice wearing only boxers. "Clark what do you think you're doing." She shouted furiously blocking her sight with both hands she turn her back from him. "What? I'm changing of course, It's a school day right? What do you think I'm doing?" He said mischievously with a slight grin on his face. "Could you go to the bathroom to finish what you are doing, you didn't say earlier that you're still on . boxers." She practically spitted the last word. "Oh c'mon I know you've seen every part of my anatomy, so Lana don't act like innocent." Still grinning he went to the bathroom and Lana went downstairs telling Martha that she'd wait for Clark at the porch. She sat down at one level of the stairs as Jonathan greeted her. "Good morning Lana." He smiled at her showing some fine lines in the sides of his eyes. I didn't notice how long I've known this family, it seems like I've just met them yesterday, and now Clark and I are both fifteen and finally freshmen in high school. it's nice to know people who are very familiar to you. she smiled in return. Clark finally showed up after three minutes or so and helped his dad carry the loads of vegetables and fruits from their truck. "Son that's enough, you two must go now. I don't want you both to be late for school.". Just like a family who cared about you. 


	2. First day of skul

Thanks for the reviews! This story is a little different from a regular Smallville story, I just hope you like it! Smallville is not mine, although I dream of writing an episode of its recent season. I think I might as well add some songs to up coming chapters. Your reviews and comments are wholeheartedly welcome, thanks and GOD bless. : D  
  
Chapter 2  
  
On their way to school, in between conversations, and as they reached their classrooms Lana can't help but steal glances on the man of her dreams, the man of steal!  
  
"High school will be a total fun!" Clark exclaimed as he gaze from one direction to another looking at pretty girls and at different streamers inviting freshmen to join varsity teams, cheering squads, and other cool clubs.  
  
"Do you think so." A statement not a question as Lana strolled down to a booth inviting young journalists to join the Torch *this is my dream! Lana thought to herself. "What's that, you joining the Torch?" Clark raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Yeah, it's like a dream come true." Lana's smile widened as she remembers a fond memory of her wanting to become a journalist when she was five. "I thought you like to join the varsity team," he teased. Ignoring his comment, she gave her name to the attendant and sign a piece of paper, sort of like an application sheet.  
  
"Hmm, bit boring for me." He shook his head in disagreement, sounding like he wears that sparkling red stone in his finger.  
  
"Hey Clark!" a familiar voice called him. "Pete! I thought you went to a different school? But I'm still glad you made it here. I thought I'll be stock with lots of papers for the whole school year." He gave him a relieve look stealing a quick glance from Lana. "Hey Lana you're here too." He gave her a smile and she returned it "Hey Pete." "I'm happy to see the two significant people in my life." He sighed contentedly.  
  
After some time a blonde girl sporting an exotic outfit joined the group. "Oh, by the way I forgot to introduce my new friend Chloe Sullivan. She is the editor in chief of the Torch which I thought you both are interested to join in." Pete made a nice look at Lana but a mischievous look at Clark. "Hi," is Chloe's simple reply. Her eyes were instantly glued at Clark.  
  
After some time, Clark snapped the silence and made an introduction of him forgetting about Lana. "Hi I'm Clark Kent." He shook her hands firmly and let it go without letting go of her gaze. "So you are the editor in chief of the school paper, it's nice meeting you really. I was so interested of writing for the school paper what do you think should I do in order to be admitted?" Lana felt a little annoyed of Clark's change attitude *I thought I heard him say a while ago that writing is boring, what came into this man that he suddenly like it. Is this something to do about this new girl, I hope not?  
  
"If you are really interested of joining, and fortunately you are friends of Pete - who volunteered to become the photographer of our paper," she gave Pete a warm smile. "You two can submit your best story next week, and we'll see then if you are really fortunate enough to be admitted." She handed them a copy of previous published Torch papers. After the bell rang they all said their goodbyes and headed to their classes.  
  
Lana is extremely irritated at Clark the whole day. He pushes her away, ignores her during lunch, cracks jokes that seems to be below the belt, makes her feel out of place, and lastly flirts with the new girl Chloe Sullivan. So after their last subject she told her friends that she's badly needed at the Talon for an excuse.  
  
*What a day! Clark's so annoying. I never thought that he would act that way; he acts as if I'm a nonentity and he treats me like I'm sort of a trash. How could he? How am I going to survive high school with all these predicaments? She gave the thought a sad and hopeless look.  
  
The Talon was overwhelming that day. Customers rushed in for a sudden rush of decaf, students are all over the place since it's first day of school. *Good thing Nell did leave me some reliable attendants to help me out. I wonder what good thing could ease of my mind right now, coz I'm totally devastated.  
  
"Excuse me can I have a refill for my cup?" a soothing voice draw her back to reality, thought it was Clark for a moment but after seeing his face she was a little disappointed. "Miss is everything fine?" a tall, bald but handsome guy with deep dimples in both cheeks is standing in front of her.  
  
"Oh what can I do for you?" a flustered Lana asked. "I said, I was asking you if I can have a refill for my cup?" the man smiled at her. "Oh sorry." She instantly grabbed the coffee pot, didn't notice that it's still hot so she practically drop it on the floor. "Easy." His voice is filled with concern, seeing the look in Lana's face. "I'm so sorry." She grimaced. "It's ok, it's ok. I see you're a little preoccupied but I understand your misery, this place is extremely jam- packed." The man just smiled and walks away.  
  
Suddenly an uninvited guy showed up, grinning as if he was into some kind of mischief. "Hey Lana, what's up?" Clark shouted as he approach the service station. But Lana returned his remark with a cold look.  
  
By the look on her face he realized that he must have upset her by making fun of her all day. "Look I know you're a little annoyed at me for making fun of you at school, but I want to make up and say sorry." His tone was a bit more serious this time. "I'm inviting you to come over tonight, I got us two new action flicks that you will surely love." His intense eyes were pleading like those of a puppy. (Imagine the scene in Calling where Clark found Lana horse riding, Clark's puppy-like eyes pleading for Lana to change her mind about their relationship status.)  
  
"What made you think that you'd convince me to come over by just two silly flicks?" Lana's voice was a little firmer but her face hints like she's on the verge of giving up to Clark's request by giving a funny tone on her two last words. A few more push Clark and you might just won.  
  
Discerning his chance of winning he pushed her a little more. "The flick is a favorite of yours." His voice still on the pleading tone, but after seeing the - I am not satisfied - look on her face he continue, "There are hot girls," he half teased. Noticing that Lana is on the verge of becoming irritated again he backed up instantly "I have to admit though you act like that you still have a feminine side, the actor is a crush of yours." He jokingly tells her.  
  
"What do you think of I am?" she punches him playfully at his biceps.  
  
By the look in her face and her voice started to calm down he knew at that very moment that he was already forgiven. 


	3. the night I wanted to remember

Chapter 3 The sky starts to unfold. Darkness is like a cloak that hides the patches of a preceding day, beckoning a beautiful night with the most brilliant stars. The moon is like dancing to a tune visibly heard only by a sensitive heart.  
  
*What's bothering you Lana? I know this night is just all the other nights I spend at the Kent's, but why am I feeling something is different about tonight. Huh, stop it. Clark's just inviting you to come over to rekindle your friendship with him, that's all. All he thinks of you is just a friend, not any ordinary friend but his best friend and he even regards you as one of the guys, so why think of other possibilities. You must stop this, you're being too unfair to him, and all he wants of you was a pure friendship.  
  
She scolded herself in her thoughts, she felt like she was split into two kinds of personalities, the one is like wanting to be with Clark, but the other half argues that if she continues her selfish dreams about him she might loose an amazing friendship. Still lost on her reverie she didn't notice that she was already standing on the foot of the stairs towards the Loft. Still struggling with her thoughts, she tried to collect herself as she climb it, hoping that her absent mindedness won't interfere as she deal with Clark.  
  
"Hey, I thought were gonna watch just two movies tonight, I didn't see that was coming." She smiled as she reveals herself fully on view. Clark looked at her slightly troubled but took in her appearance. Wearing her usual look, her face slightly grimaced at the thought that Clark won't ever notice her coz she's too ordinary to be noticed, so she tried hard to hide her disappointment and shove the thoughts away. *No I'm not suppose to feel this way, Clark's my best friend and I don't want to change that.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong? It's hard to believe that I won't see those beaming grins tonight." She kept making the mood a little bit lighter by joking him around. "Lana I know I'm not suppose to tell you this but -." He trailed off. "Go on, I'm listening." She forced him to convey when a thrill sparks on her voice. On the other side of her brain she was again struggling with her thoughts. *What's happening, is he going to profess that it's been a long time since we're friends, and - and now he's ready to take it on a new level. That he's can't hide the feeling anymore, that he was in love with me too. "Lana, I -" he was struggling, is he suppose to tell her or not. "You, what?" she pushed him a little harder, the excitement came rushing over her, can't wait to hear the good news that is about to burst from his mouth any minute.  
  
"Lana, I have a dilemma, but I know it's not appropriate to tell you." Noticing his tone became a little too serious she set aside her personal feelings for him. "Try me." She insisted sitting down she grabbed the remote control and noticed that the TV is on a pause state showing a scene where a couple kisses. Putting the puzzles together, she instantly replied "Oh Clark, don't tell me your dilemma's about burgeoning hormones again." She put both hands in front of her signaling an absolute NO and I don't want to hear anything of what you are about to tell me.  
  
"Hey, of course it's not anything about that." He retorted. "If ever I will have any problems regarding those things I know Pete's the more appropriate person to be consulted." He stated defensively.  
  
Regaining her composure, she tried hard to figure out what's been bothering Clark at that moment. *Remember this isn't the time for personal motives Lana, he is your best friend, and this is just the perfect time to prove that. "Hey, I'm still here." Is all she can say, to encourage Clark to continue talking. *At least by listening to him may ease off his agony.  
  
"Ok. Here it goes." Taking a deep breath he started, "We're already in high school, and there will be a bunch of formals and dates, of course with the person we really like, and-" His voice is a little shaky. "Hey, get to the point please." Her voice sounds like a bit irritated, of him hitting around the bush. "Ok, to tell you frankly, I - I - I" "You what?" she practically shouted. "I - I don't think I'm a good kisser." He blurted out; not believing his own words he just stared at her confused and bewildered waiting for a mocking reply.  
  
Hearing what he had just said she couldn't help but grin in amusement. "That's it?" her words were a bit sarcastic this time. "Yeah, that's it, and I know I shouldn't have bothered talking to you about this 'stupid' thing, because you know what-" he stopped for a moment as if he was looking for the appropriate words to describe her misbehavior. "You are no help to me." After saying this he started walking towards the stairs furiously, when she abruptly slowed him down.  
  
"Hey man easy." She tried hard to stop herself from giggling by making her words sound a little serious. "Do you think only Pete can give you the best advices when it comes to guy living, I too can." sounding sincerely he turned himself back to her. "You can?" he couldn't believe her words. At that moment he can't help but be impressed and admire her on how she can change a very ridiculous situation into one of the most serious matters. *I could have said never mind to her but I think it's worth to give her a try.  
  
"Come on over here, the expert will show you how?" *Huh, did I just invite him to come sit beside me - in a close contact manner- and give him lectures about how to become a good kisser? What are you thinking Lang? You're not here to have fun; you are supposed to give advices about - kissing.  
  
"You know how?" flabbergasted, he couldn't believe that he's about to take lessons on much serious matters - including kissing, from his best friend.  
  
"How did you become so smart about this 'thing'" His words were sort of humiliating her. "Umm, just got ideas from movies and romantic novels." She tried to hide the shaking in her words and still manage to continue to get through it. *Yeah all he thought of me is an innocent, tomboyish individual who knows nothing of the world. As if reading her thoughts he stated, "I know how you like romance stories, I think every girl does." His words sounded more appreciative, knowing the fact that she's here agonizing with his 'stupid' misery.  
  
*What! Did I just heard him said that he considers me a girl. He doesn't even know but his words sort of given me a boost of confidence.  
  
After a few minutes they were already in the couch sited facing each other, for some time she tried hard to joke around just to keep the tension below its limit.  
  
The moment was so still and quiet not even a single cricket can be heard, the feeling that he felt during that very moment was so unexplainable, so an indescribable but he chose to continue to gaze in her eyes and act casual. *What is happening with me? The girl whom I am just starring at is nothing but my best friend, and this feeling - why am I feeling this by the way? Suddenly she became - someone special. Yeah she's special to me ever since, but this - this is different. I wonder how long this feeling will last.  
  
From that moment she know that she shouldn't do it, but there's no other way out, all she have to do is finish it up to get through this, she slip to a romantic tone used by some actresses when they do a romantic scene on movies, when suddenly all the emotions came running through her.  
  
"Based from the movies I've seen, a person should first stare at his/her lovers' eyes." She tried to set aside other thoughts that will ruin her concentration. "Ok." Though hesitating, he obediently followed her.  
  
"After gazing for some time direct your gaze in his/her lips and remember to close your eyes in the process." This time he chose not to close his eyes and just look at her, studying her features. *I didn't know that she has flawless skin and rosy cheeks, and those cute dimples of her starts to show up whenever she giggles or smiles.  
  
*You want to know why you're not seeing that? Because you don't even bother to look at her, that's why. His alter ego argued.  
  
As if feeling the moment, she uttered "As you feel the electricity urging you to inch closer and closer, do not stop it, until -" From that instant, with everything of himself that he knows and everything that he still trying to figure out, he goes for it. He kissed her lips, in a light, soft manner, that he himself couldn't believe his actions. A sudden thrill of electricity was felt by both of them the moment their lips touched, though not one of those hot kisses seen in romantic movies but those of with hidden passion.  
  
Startled, feeling his lips touched hers gave her immediate shivers down to her spine. After opening her eyes she found his intense gaze staring back at her, her face flushed into a color of crimson and suddenly both feel self-conscious.  
  
"Your technique is so corny, I think I'm more of a good kisser than you are." He grinned, standing up he tried his best not to meet her eyes, trying to make the situation casual as if he'd just cracked a silly joke and nothing more serious happened. He picked up the VCD's and placed one of which in the player "We might as well watch this film." Lana was left in the couch, confused and bewildered at the same time.  
  
* Hmm. what do you think of the ending in this chapter, it's kind of long right? Do you think it's lousy? I want to know your opinion. What about the kiss? Please do review =D I'd be delighted to receive them. I'll update soon just got to finish the exams first. GOD bless! 


	4. flashbacks

Thanks for reading my previous chapters, this is not actually chapter 4 but it's kind of an introduction to it. Actually this is sort of a song fic, the song that I used here is entitled "What do I do?" sung by a Filipino singer with his band, Nyoy Volante with Mannos. I hope you enjoy this one, I love this song so much it gave me sort of mixed emotions and it inspired me with the whole story. I think you have to expect more songs coming in future chapters, I hope you won't tire reading it, thanks again and God bless! =D  
  
Flash back:  
  
"Clark, I have to go now, it's getting late and my aunt Nell's expecting me tonight." Lana put on her sneakers and started walking towards the stairs. "Why so early, could you not spend the night here?" his face instantly saddened with her sudden departure.  
  
"I want to, it's just that -" she paused self-consciously, too shy to confess the real reason. "It's just that what?" he asked in bewilderment, he stood up from the couch and walk towards her. "I think it's inappropriate for me to stay, I mean I'm already a big girl and you're turning to be a big boy, you see growing up demands a little privacy even with best friends, and my aunt told me that no one will ever date me if they found out that I'm sleeping over at my best friend especially if he's a guy." She explained unsure if Clark will believe her attempt of a good reason.  
  
"You could be one of the boys, forget burgeoning hormones and those weird stuff that grows in your body, I'm your best friend and I don't care whatever they say -"  
  
"Clark, you don't understand, though I act somehow like a boy but I'm still a girl who feels like a girl, you can't ask me not to feel serious about these stuff because although I want to I just can't and besides -"  
  
"Then I'll date you!" he cut her off. "If no one from the male gender wanted to, I'll date you!" she was instantly taken a back by his remarks. She turned away from him just to hide the blushing of her face and started going down the steps  
  
"Who told you that I want to date you?" she shouted playfully as she finally disappears in the darkness of the night.  
  
(What would you do? If I told you that, All that I do's think of what we  
had What would you do? If I'm not the friend I used to be, Well, at least, not  
to me  
  
'Cause I can't get over, all the times you stayed,  
Get crazy jealous, every time you're away  
Now I'm someone different from the one that you knew  
Had nothing to feel for you, to feel for you  
  
What do I do? I keep callin' out your name  
What do I do? I got no one else to blame  
What do I do? Every time I hold your hand it's not the same  
What do I do? I think I fell in love with you)  
  
I remember that day you and your family left for a family emergency, we were just seven then, I cried so hard for you with the thought that you will never come back again.  
  
I came to the loft every single day when you left, playing by myself, hoping that you'll return sooner than I expect, waiting for every sunset to appear because it's the least thing that reminds me of you, I even cried myself to sleep on your couch, as a hand touches me to wake me up I always thought it was yours, only to find my aunt's pleading eyes begging me to go home.  
  
One night I slept again on your loft, this time my aunt didn't came by as she usually did, perhaps she get tired of doing it. I found myself dreaming for a person that I'm longing to see, it was you.  
  
I found myself in a garden full of red roses, everything is just pure white, I walked through the long aisles wearing a white velvet gown, as I reached the altar I saw a familiar face with a pair of glowing eyes, when our eyes met he smiled widely and reached out his hand, only to find another woman in front of me, my smile faded when she walk towards him, she reached for his open arms and both headed to the altar.  
  
Seeing them together have torn me apart, it's like a car accident that you can't bear to look but you just can't reap yourself off, I don't want to feel selfish but the scenery before me is just too unbearable to take, I fell on my knees trying so hard to fight the tears from flowing, but it didn't stop. My mind had already forbid me to love you for I know you will only bring me tears, but my heart just keep on telling me so; we are meant to be, but this time not anymore.  
  
I want to look at you once again for the last time, as I raise my head I found a pair of loving eyes looking directly at me, I wiped away the tears that has caused my vision to blurred, as I look again I saw you walking towards me, I don't know but I think I saw tears in your eyes, you reached for my face and caressed it softly, I closed my eyes savoring every touch, after awhile you handed me a white hanky, as I open it I found a simple note, it read: I will always be here for you, no matter what. I have loved you ever since, now I love you enough to leave you.  
  
As I finished the last word my eyes were already wet with tears, I raised my face to look for you, but you were already gone.  
  
"Lana, Lana wake up, you're sleeping on my couch I have nowhere to sleep." A faraway voice is calling me but I just can't go back, I struggled hard, eventually a tear flowed down my cheek and suddenly I felt a finger wiped it away. I flinched with the touch that caused me to wake up, as I open my eyes I saw you looking at me confused with the way I reacted.  
  
"Clark!" I screamed on top of my lungs and hugged you with the remaining strength that I have. Still confused but you eagerly returned the hug, telling me to calm down and everything is all right.  
  
That night it rained so hard, your mom told us that we could stay in your loft and I could go home the next morning, we slept in your couch holding each other till the next day, you sleep so peaceful even without your parents around you, after all we've been through I thank God for having you in my life, I starred at your sleeping face for a long moment then gave you peck on the cheek. I know after this night I will never be the same again.  
  
(What can I do? What can I say?  
Everything keeps changing every night, every day  
Every word so different, every touch so real  
Every glance and every look reveals the way I feel  
  
No, its never ever gonna be the same  
When we hug for warmth  
From the cold of the rain  
And I'm not gonna move on,  
Not gonna change  
Though I find it hard to say.Baby  
  
I don't know what to do  
I've fallen more for you  
Baby, please tell me.)  
  
What can I do, I have fallen in love with you, it's forbidden to cross that line between friendship and love but I chose a different way to be with you and I know everything will never be the same again. I don't want you to hate me if you'll find out, but you unleash the feeling that I though was once just a silly dream. I chose to love you in silence because inside me everything is possible between us, even if it was just a dream, I will plunge myself to this dream till I wake up to be with you in reality.  
  
P.S. the note was sort of inspired by the episode Exodus, don't fret chapter 4 is coming really, really soon. I just hope the long wait is worth it!!! 


	5. maybe, just maybe

*Sorry for the confusing events in this story, the kiss in chapter 3 really did happen but the flashbacks in the intro to ch.4 somewhat happened in their past, things that happened in their past that made Lana think about something more of her friendship with Clark. This next chapter is their reality, this is actually chapter 4 the real continuation of chapter 3. Thanks for the reviews and for the inspirations that keep on coming that motivates me to keep on going. =D By the way, another Filipino artist named King revived the song entitled "Maybe" that I used in the mid part of the story (just some phrases from the song). (After hearing the song I thought I had found the appropriate emotion that I want Lana to feel for this particular chapter.) I hope you still enjoy reading it!!! God bless!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
*The night was filled with a lot of emotion, forcing its way inside me, leaving me weightless like an air balloon, I'm like bouncing from cloud to cloud taking me higher and higher. I closed my eyes half expecting the moment to be gone coz I can't bear the heights that I saw underneath my feet.  
  
But as I open my eyes I'll find myself in your arms holding me so close and tender. Your soothing touch has taken my breath away. As if I'm about to burst any minute after feeling your lips on my own. That moment I spent with you - I just wish it didn't end so fast so we could stay that way forever. Hmmm, I didn't know how it felt elated to be in love.  
  
*Maybe in some way he felt it too, the electricity that holds us together, the thrill that spiced up that endearing moment we just shared. Maybe in some time we could be together, everything is just perfect! There will be no complications between us, maybe - just maybe. she mumbles to herself, as she passed out.  
  
*** "Clark - " Lana's face was slightly shocked after finding Clark on their front door. He smiled to her like she was the last person he wanted to see. "Hi" his eyes glistens like the stars in the sky the moment his eyes found hers.  
  
"What are you doing here? I - I mean it's kind of late, and we still have classes tomorrow." Her voice tensed. "I'm sorry for being here so late." He looked down for some time and faced her again; his eyes were like pleading for her to talk to him.  
  
"I just find it hard to look at you descending my loft without even knowing what I just felt the moment we touched -" He said without breaking the eye contact. A stunned Lana practically dropped her jaw in surprised. *Is this really happening? He gently reached for her both hands and placed it in his chest, arranging every finger firmly, letting her feel his heart beat. His heart beats even faster the moment she touched his heart.  
  
"I don't know what has gotten to me, I know I've made a fool out of myself during the times I'm driving you away." He left her hands in his chest as he reached for her face. He caressed her face softly with his right thumb; she shivered in his touch but sent soothing feeling through her.  
  
"I know I've been so unfair to you and cared less, I never treated you like a best fiend but you're always there for me -." As she was about to utter a word to contradict what he said he seized her lips in his. She gave in for the kiss for some time but suddenly pull away from his touch. "So, what do you mean by that?" She turned her back from him, too embarrassed to verbalize what they had just shared. She crossed her arms in front of her; her voice sounded a little cold so as not to make her feelings so obvious to him. *I think I should play hard to get first so he won't think that I'm so into him.  
  
He came up to her, as his chest brushed her back she felt an instant thrill of electricity down to her spine. Putting his arms around her waist prompted her to turn around finding her face inches from him. Each could already smell each other's adorable scent, the mint of each other's toothpaste on their mouth, and the passion that was about to unfold.  
  
Clark savors the moment for a while, "I'm not letting you go this time." His voice turned husky. As they gaze to each other's eyes deeply, they inch closer and closer until -. ***  
  
"Lana, wake up!" a familiar voice called "You're late for school, young lady." She blinked her eyes, hoping that the voice was just a dream and the scene was reality. But -. "Wake up! Wake up!" Aunt Nell shook her a little "I'm growing to be irritated with you Lana, what have you been doing all night that hardens you to get up from bed." Realizing that the voice is the reality she felt slightly disappointed. But after thinking that she will see Clark today, and all the hopes between them, she eagerly went out of bed. Nell practically pushed her into the bathroom but noticed a wide grin plastered on her face. "Hey? Are you ok Lana?" she asked in bewilderment. "Never better." She smiled sweetly to her aunt. "Whatever!" rolling her eyes, she went out her room wondering.  
  
Students are walking to and fro the halls of Smallville high as classes were about to start any minute. Though a multitude has covered Lana's path she never fail to see the one who really stands out from her crowd. Clark Kent.  
  
Clark's carrying a lot of books that day but his face suddenly lightens up when he saw Lana from the crowd. "Lana, glad I've seen you, you are the last person I really wanted to see early in the morning, I want to thank you for last night," his mood change a bit after mentioning last night but he chose to continue, "- and I don't want the day to get started without you knowing the good news."  
  
"What good news?" *this is it! She slightly giggled at the thought.  
  
"The thing is I'm really happy that you help me -" *and you got me thinking too, but that's shouldn't be the point here. Clark thought for a moment. "You see if Pete can help you in those matters, I can too." She interrupted defensively, afraid that Clark might think that she just planned it all along. "No, it gave me confidence." Suddenly her paranoid argument between herself stopped by his use of words, "Confidence?" "Yeah confidence. Confidence to ask Chloe out for a date!" he gleefully said. "Sullivan? Torch editor in chief? Uh sorry, I don't know that you were into her type." She faintly said, as her face drops down.  
  
"Why, is she your type?" he teased after seeing the look in her face. "Of course not! I just can't believe it, what did she tell you?" *I really can't believe it, after last night he forgot everything about me, the kiss, the gaze, the touch, everything is gone. I thought you will bring me to your palace like I was your princess, we'll gaze into each other's eyes as if we are the only people in the world, you promised everything to me, but you just let the wind take my dreams away. Of course, none of these things came from you; it was only my stupid dream and I.  
  
"So Lana, you coming?" he cut her thoughts and brought her back to him. "What?" "Pete and his date actually invited us over, Chloe I mean." "Don't you see it Clark it's a double date, why do you want me to be there too, do you really want me look like a total fool." Her voice sounds irritated as she walk towards her locker.  
  
"Lana, I never meant it that way." He followed her through the crowd to her locker. "Seriously!" flaunting his puppy-like eyes "I want you to be there because you're my best friend and I trust you, you see Chloe and I are still in the building-a-friendship process, the getting-to-know you type, unlike us -" she stopped upon hearing this. "Really, unlike us. I trust you ever since, I've even shared everything 'bout myself with you, the part that I haven't shared with anyone else even my parents, I really want you to be there Lana, because you gave me confidence, and I know the fact that you're there I won't be off track."  
  
His words was so persuading that she can't even utter a word to describe her feeling at the moment, their friendship was way important to him than giving a chance on something else, on one point she thought maybe it's far better to let go of the love and just remain friends with him, because she doesn't want to lose him in one-way or another. *I wish this were much easier than I thought it would be. He values our friendship a lot rather than giving chance on love, the fact that he doesn't feel anything for me hurts me even more. But what can I do, I can't force him to love me. She gave a sad look at the thought.  
  
"Hey Lana, you dreaming again?" she saw Clark's eager face *He's really expecting me to come, I really don't want to hurt myself but I hate to turn him down.  
  
"Ok." She replied weakly as soon as the bell rang, Clark didn't hear the sad tune on her voice because of the boisterous sound of the bell. He turned around flashing an appreciative smile as he disappears in the crowd. She was left alone and hurting.  
  
(There I was, waiting for a chance, hoping that you'll understand, the things I wanna say. As my love went stronger than before, I wanna see you more and more, but you closed your door, why don't you try to open up your heart, I won't take so much of your time)  
  
*Why does it have to be this way? I never wished something like this; I never knew that falling in love with your best friend could be this tragic. She's driving him crazy and here I am going crazy over him, without him knowing it.  
  
(Maybe, it's wrong to say please love me too, 'coz I know you'll never do, somebody else is waiting there inside for you. Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day, 'coz I know she's here to stay. But my love is strong I don't know if this is wrong, but I know to whom you should belong)  
  
*I know I don't have the right to tell you about this feeling it would be so unfair. But what if I tell you? How would you react to it? Will you still be my best friend? Or shut me down and never talk to me again. Well, I just want to know. Coz you know what? I think we really belong together.  
  
After their last period Clark went to the Torch office looking for some blonde editor in chief, he found her sitting next to a computer screen. "Hi!" the boy smiled coyly. "Well hello Clark, I've never seen you since this morning." Chloe responded her face still half hidden by the computer screen. "Well, I got tons of school work today - actually I just drop by to ask you if you want to go for a snack and have a break because you looked really tired." "I think you're right, I just thought you're excited about the date!" she said teasingly as they headed out of the Torch office. "The truth, I am! Umm, would you mind if I ask Lana to come with us?" After hearing this she felt a bit uneasy "Of course not! She's your friend right? You two seem very close?" "Yeah, we really are. Lana and I grew up together, we're actually best friends!" "Well, I never saw it that way - I mean, I thought it's more than that." The words snapped him like a bomb so he wasn't able to respond right away.  
  
"What? Uh, well - that is certainly inappropriate!" his voice still a bit shocked turning to be confused. "Why so? She's a girl and you're a boy." She raised her eyebrows in surprised. "No, I don't see her that way." he stated firmly erasing every doubt he had in mind as he led her to the driveway. "Ok." She gave him a sly look as she enters the seat to Clark's truck. "Sometimes the right person can be right in front of your eyes."  
  
After school Lana headed straight home, kicked her shoes off, throw her books on the floor, and plunge herself to her bed, while hot tears stinging down her cheeks. She really didn't want to go. Hearing his news was bad enough; going out with them would be a torture. *What can I do? Reality won't let me choose my destiny.  
  
She felt very despondent. She lies down on her back facing the ceiling; she hated Clark for getting her into this, for making her suffer all the time with even knowing. But the truth she couldn't really hate him, he was too persuasive, the fact that she doesn't have the ability to resist him gave him the chance to take advantage.  
  
She was on the verge of breaking down until her alter ego thought of a counter attack. *If things won't go exactly the way you want it to be, why don't you compromise a little? Sure it was hurtful to see them together having a good time but maybe this is the time you've been waiting for to prove yourself. Show the world what you got! And you'll see Clark, like a lovesick puppy chasing you around begging you to be his girl. He'll feel the same agony you're feeling right now, he'll be sorry for doing this to you. And you'll see; you'll still have the last laugh.  
  
But, wait - can I really do that to Clark? Can I really hurt him? I know it wasn't his fault if he loves someone instead of me. Part of me wants to rebel and make Clark suffer for what he's doing to me, but there's something inside me that keeps on reminding me that love is patient and kind, it doesn't rejoice in doing evil. I guess loving someone that you can't you be with needs a lot of sacrifices.  
  
*I made up my mind; I'm going. Whatever happens; I'll support him even if my happiness is at stake. I'm going to prove to myself that I can be at my best even without the forces of hatred, bitterness, and revenge. If I were meant to love him in silence, I would gladly accept it, because in silence he would be with me. If you'll only believe Clark, you too might be overjoyed.  
  
*Thanks for reading! Some phrases from the songs like Why don't you and I by Santana and Overjoyed by Stevie Wonder (Again! I guess this song inspires me a lot, coz I'm listening to it while doing this) are used in this chapter, just figure them out. =D 


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